The Secret to Free Newspapers

I know a secret - How to get your newspaper for free.

I’m not talking about temporarily free delivery. You know, where they give you the first 12 weeks for free and then they start billing you. In that scenario, you eventually pay. I’m talking no-strings attached free! I’m talking newspapers piling up on your front lawn, a rainbow of plastic covered papers scattered about.

Are you ready for the secret? Here it is: Cancel your subscription.

I mean it. Cancel your subscription. Tell them you just don’t have time to read every day, what with your busy life and all. They won’t believe you. The bills will stop coming, but the delivery will continue. Call them back. Tell them they must have forgotten to relay the message to the delivery driver. Remind them - you don’t want the paper anymore. They still won’t believe you. They will think you don’t want to pay, but you still really want to read their newspaper.

As the papers continue to arrive, be sure to call again. Tell them you travel a lot and if papers pile up on the front lawn, it’s like a great big “I’m not home sign” for the less-than-honest folks in the world. They won’t care. Your newspapers will still arrive.

I stumbled onto a brilliant plan really. A brilliant plan if I actually wanted to get my newspapers for free. Which I don’t. I’d like to go green and read on-line. I’d like to avoid hauling a pile of papers out back for the recycling truck every week. I’d like stop collecting those little plastic sleeves the newspapers come in. The only thing those plastic sleeves are good for is picking up dog poop. Trust me, my dog is never going to poop enough to use up my ever growing supply.

As I inadvertently learned the secret to free newspaper delivery, I felt compelled to share. So go ahead, try it. Start your free subscription today. Be sure to let me know how it works out.

Are you called to be a Helicopter Parent?

I wanted to be a Helicopter Parent – really I did.

I wanted to read every book the English teacher ever assigned, so I could have discussions with my son at the dinner table. I wanted to bone up on my algebra and geometry, so I could check my daughter's math homework for accuracy. I just didn’t have the time.

I wanted to be at school every day helping out in the office or in the art room. I wanted to be the volunteer parent who knows all the teachers and administrators by name. I had to be at work instead.

I wanted to be the parent who called the teacher to task when they treated a child unfairly. I wanted to say “Hey – I know your job is tough, but can you try a little harder, because these are our children.” My children asked me to me keep my mouth shut.

I couldn’t be a Helicopter Parent, but I’m glad someone was there to answer the call.

Baby boomers have brought a lot of improvements to parenting – relationships are more open and honest. Tough topics are discussed, rather than hidden in the closet. Parents are more proactive. They no longer release their children to the unknown at school, on the sports field or elsewhere, trusting the best will happen. When they send their babies off to college, they don’t simply cross their fingers and pray. Now, the connections remain and the discussions continue.

I do still highly recommend crossing your fingers and praying when you send them off to college. With such abounding freedom, much can happen when you’re not around.

Sure, some parents go overboard. I’ve heard the stories of parents confronting coaches about playing time, challenging teachers on their choices of test questions or contacting bosses about performance reviews. But let’s put this in perspective. Going a bit overboard is not unique to parenting.

Have you seen the folks with way too many Christmas decorations on their lawns? Did you ever have a neighbor who took in every stray cat she found? Who doesn’t have a friend or colleague who is a tad over-attentive to their car?

I think Helicopter Parents have gotten a bad rap. Quite frankly, I thank them - for insisting on accountability, fairness and honesty. Applied in moderation, they can be quite beneficial. It’s too late for me to become a Helicopter Parent, my kids are almost grown. But it might not be too late for you.

Road Rage Confession

I took a little heat from my girlfriends about my Road Rage blog in August. You see, I had a little “incident” back in April. One I prefer to pretend never happened. They say confession is good for the soul, so here goes.

Six of us were heading to Key West for a rare girls’ weekend. Our brilliant plan: get up at 4 AM, catch the early flight into Miami, rent a car, drive 4 hours through the Keys and be sipping Mojitos pool-side by noon. My memory of the road rage incident is a bit foggy. I was terribly sleep deprived and blinded by pain. (See my June blog titled Bedside Manner, the one with a warning about flying when you have fluid on the ear.)

I vaguely recall taking a wrong turn out of the airport, spending an hour driving through Miami looking for an on-ramp to the highway. When I finally located the highway ramp, an aggressive driver was unwilling to let me merge in. (You know the drivers who speed up once you put on your blinker, so you can't get in?) I do recall a raised voice emitting a few expletives, (I didn’t see anyone else’s lips moving, so that might have been me), a finger being raised (quite possibly the middle one), and a loud horn blairing (did that come from my car?). When I turned to the gals for comaraderie, to diss the idiot who almost hit us, they looked at me with fear and trepidation. Uh-oh.

I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. I'd like to plead temporary insanity, please. But, hey gals – I am confessing! That, and a round of Mojitos, might get me invited back next year. Or, might not.

See what can happen? Be careful when you are driving. Road Rage is never OK. But, hey folks - can you also try to remember to be polite behind the wheel and let that car full of lost girls merge in? Perhaps you will help keep folks like me from being put on the "maybe" list for next year's trip.

Good Grades, Bribery & the value of Oreo Cookies

With the onset of the school year, the theory of paying students for good grades is back in the news. Seems some school systems are working on a new plan for student success – an incentive compensation package, if you will. Folks are in an uproar.

Can we get real for a minute? Is paying students for good grades really such a foreign concept? Parents have been rewarding their kids with cash and treats for decades. Sure, we all had lofty ideals when our child was still in the womb. But what parent did not learn the value of bribery the first time their two year old dug in their heels with an emphatic “No!” I am not ashamed to admit that Oreo cookies saw me through the terrible two’s. (all three times!)

Come on parents – I know you are with me on this one. We have all dangled the car keys in front of our teens as motivation. Whether the goal was finishing homework or mowing the lawn, is not relevant.

I don’t think the real controversy is over the issue of bribery.
I think the real issue is about who is paying for it, literally.
Monetary rewards must come out of the budget somewhere.

Do I think this plan will succeed? Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t.
Who am I to judge? As a parent of teens, let me just say this:
If I thought this plan would work in my house, trust me, I’d try it.

And I bet you would too.