Pink, It’s Not Just for Girls Anymore

You don’t need a calendar to determine the season. Simply watch the décor at retailers. Pink, yellow and green – it’s April. Red, white and blue – July. Orange and black – October. Green and red – December. And if the Ravens are doing well – its Purple Friday here in Baltimore each week in January.

In recent years, pink has replaced orange in October, for Breast Cancer Awareness month. Store windows, publications and numerous products, sport pink ribbons or new pink packaging to raise money and awareness.

Pink controversy has arisen with one non-profit’s sale of pink cancer awareness bracelets reading: “I love Boobies.” Designed to raise teen awareness of Breast Cancer and spark conversation, these bracelets are popping up in middle schools and high schools across the country. The campaign is working, but the conversation is not. Schools are banning them and civil rights activists are rallying.

Teenage boys, in many schools, outnumber teenage girls wearing the “I love Boobies” bracelets. Do some have other motives?
Of course they do, they’re teenagers. That is to be expected.
Take the conversation off the words and onto the topic. Breast Cancer kills over 40,000 women each year – mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, neighbors.

I urge school administrators to keep talking, but talk about early detection, treatment and research, not about dress codes and foul language. Boobies, breasts, bust, bosom – these are not dirty words. I say let the boys wear bracelets!

Please, Thank You & I'm Sorry

“Love means never having to say you are sorry.” Who coined that phrase? Must have been a man. Probably one who believes flowers, chocolates or jewelry are unnecessary gifts after the exchange of wedding vows.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff,” on the other hand, was probably conceived by a woman. I imagine a multi-tasking Mommy dreamed that up, to free herself from the guilt of failing to be perfect.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe both of these sentiments have their place, figuratively, but not literally. We are all imperfect people in an imperfect world. Accept this fate. Give yourself permission to forget, to over commit, to make mistakes. Breathe a sign of relief. Then, remember, life is indeed about the small stuff.

How nice would it be if someone else in the house emptied the dishwasher? If a neighbor tossed your newspaper the extra few yards onto your porch one cold, rainy morning? If a stranger stopped to help you change a flat tire? How much happier you would be if someone simply remembered to take out the trash, without being reminded?

Life would be sweeter. A smile would play across your lips. Now, imagine a “please” or “thank you” added in, an “I’m sorry” from your partner for an unanticipated slight.

Everyday, mundane things make up the bulk of our existence. Pay attention to them. Today, tomorrow and the next day. See how it feels. See what it changes.

Remember, Love means saying you are sorry even when you are not expected to.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

Using your Blinker and Avoiding the Horn

Many women will tell you, their biggest gripe with their mate is lack of communication. “We never just talk,” women say. Have you been on the sending or receiving end of “I want to know how you feel”? Statements like these can make men run for the door and women seek therapy.

The same applies to planning ahead. Frankly, many men find their life quite satisfactory without forethought or planning. “Don’t they sell roses at those roadside stands?” can count, in a man’s mind, as preparation for Valentine’s Day. Women beg to differ.

Communication & planning ahead are two often addressed topics in a relationship, but these gender differences are not strictly a behind-closed-doors issue. They translate behind the wheel of a car as well.

I must confess, I can be a back-seat driver at times. “Why don’t you put on your blinker, so the cars know you’re waiting for that parking space,” I’ve been heard to say, when I witness this communication faux pas.

To me, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to listen to “that damn car won’t let me in.” All I’m thinking is “Why didn’t you change lanes a mile ago? You knew the exit was coming up.” I don't understand why people don't plan ahead.

It’s really just gender differences, in communication and planning. Perhaps we can agree to meet in the middle – if men work on using their blinkers more often, women will lay off the horn.

I’m going to try this in my life. Try it in yours. Let me know how it goes.

Life, Love, and yes, Sex

I am having so much fun talking to people about sex this summer. But I’m not sure my audience is enjoying it as much as I am.

You see, we have finally settled on a date for a Baltimore Book Event for Charla Muller (author of 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy). I’ve been talking-up the book and asking people to mark their calendars.

While Charla’s book chronicles the everyday challenges inherent in balancing work, children and marriage, there really is no way to get around mentioning the word “sex” when talking about her book. I’ve gotten more than a few blank stares. If I’m reading the stares correctly (and I believe I am), they mask thoughts like: “Sex? Did she just say the word ‘sex’ to me?” or “Charla offered her husband what? How often? Was she on drugs?” or quite simply “Don’t let my husband find out about this!”

365 Nights is really not about sex as much as it is about married relationships - how they change over time, how men and women’s perceptions differ, and how reconnecting (in whatever way you choose) can transform a relationship. While the impetus for the renewal in Charla and Brad’s marriage was a change in the frequency of their “married with young children” sex life, the book talks little about sex, but rather about life, stress, change, growth and relationships. Charla’s wit and humor along with her candid look at the realities of everyday married life, make for great reading.

But don’t take my word for it. Check out Charla’s web site (http://www.charlamuller.com/ ), look at the reviews on http://www.amazon.com/ or better yet, read the book. You can find it on the shelf at Barnes & Noble or order it at most book stores.

You’ll agree, it’s impossible to mention the book without using the word Sex, at least once. I think you’ll also find this real, honest, relationship book is a must read you’ll soon be sharing with family and friends.

S-E-X

I have a plan this summer – a plan that will embarrass my kids. I plan to talk about S-E-X this summer. And I’m going to talk about it to anyone who will listen.

You see, I have this friend Charla. (We’re sorta-kinda related. She’s my sister-in-law’s sister’s best friend from college.) Charla wrote a book about a birthday gift she gave her husband – sex, every day for a year. Really! A fascinating idea, one that intrigues men and perplexes women. (at least from my short survey) Her book is called 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy. Sound familiar? Perhaps you saw the ladies discuss it on The View last month or watched the interview on The Today Show yesterday. If you missed those, stay tuned, because I understand they have taped a segment for Inside Edition.

OK – but why am I going to talk about sex all summer? Partially because it will embarrass my kids. (Come on now – there has to be some sort of pay back for all the years of attitude and eye-rolling I endured during their teen years.) Also, because Charla and I are sorta-kinda related. But most importantly, because I’m co-hosting a book signing event for Charla in Baltimore in September. You can stay tuned via Charla’s website : http://www.charlamuller.com/

Today is my 46th birthday – I wonder what Paul has planned? I don’t think its sex every day for a year, but one never knows . . . . .