The Measure of a Good Family Vacation

A friend just returned from the Outer Banks. A week full of sand, sun, an 8 month old and logging into work every day to keep up with the e-mails. I told him next time, he needs to pick a location without a wireless connection. And follow my golden rule: no vacations involving sand when you have a child under 1 year. I understand he already learned that painful lesson.

My brother just got back from a week in OC – a week with his in-laws and four children, ages 7 to 13 (which includes twin pre-teen girls, God bless their souls). Does that actually count as a vacation?

My other brother and his wife took their newborn and toddler on a road trip to Canada. A 10 hour trek they drove at night so, maybe, the kids would sleep. It took 2 days to recover from “the drive from hell.” Before they knew it, they were faced with the drive back.

What is the measure of a good family vacation? It's different for everyone. For me, it’s always “Did I get to read a book? From cover to cover?” In the interest of full disclosure – my “vacation book” is always a trashy novel. Vacation is a time for escape, so no catching up on reading for my Six Sigma course or grabbing the latest Obama – Time For a Change critique. No siree, not for me!

I took an informal poll of friends and family. Here are some of the answers I received to my “a good family vacation is” inquiry:
* if no one throws up
* if the children sleep on the car ride (to or from)
* if I can get out to golf at least once
* happy hour everyday at 3:00
* if the kids take a nap
* finding time for “vacation sex” (see previous entry)
* if no one gets sunburned
* making it home with my sanity
* no trips to the emergency room for broken bones or stitches
* if we can manage to spend less than 3 months of mortgage payments
* not gaining weight (has never happened, yet)

Recognize any of these? Perhaps you have others - I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me an e-mail or post a response. I hope you have a good family vacation this summer – whatever that might mean for you.

Habits, Routines or Traditions

I grew up in a house full of traditions. I'm not really sure how it happened. I don't think my parents planned family traditions. Perhaps my parents were simply creatures of habit. Perhaps routine was a valued commodity when raising five children. I'm not really sure how our family traditions came to be, but I sure am glad.

Christmas stockings were faithfully hung on the railing of the stairs off the living room(even after we moved to a house with a fireplace). We have a special birthday song, "Make a Wish." We have sung this song at every family birthday since 1965.

When others were dying Easter eggs, we were making egg shell flowers instead. There's a silly looking felt turkey that gets slipped over a pineapple and placed in the center of the table each Thanksgiving. Does anyone even use felt anymore? We do.

Every Sunday morning of my youth, we dutifully trotted off to church - even when we were on vacation. Vacation was a tradition as well. Every summer, the whole brood of us went camping, with an old army-green canvas tent and a Coleman stove.

Believe it or not, we have a secret family dip recipe. This dip, which we lovingly call "the secret dip", appears at every family gathering. The rule? You must marry into the family to get the recipe.

I could go on and on.

My family probably has a few more traditions than most, but trust me, every family has traditions. You may not have a secret dip recipe or know how to make egg shell flowers, but trust me, you have traditions. Does Grandma make creamed onions for Thanksgiving every year? Are you the one who always bakes the holiday pies? Does the world standstill when the NY Giants are playing? If you look hard enough, you'll find them. Every family has those quirky little things that make them unique.

Celebrate your traditions. Start some of your own. As children grow up, families move apart, or grandparents pass on, you can put a felt turkey on a pineapple and feel like you are home again. You can get on the phone and sing the birthday song to your son on the west coast and share a special bond.

Sometimes silly, sometimes sweet. Traditions are a wonderful thing.