The Secret to Free Newspapers

I know a secret - How to get your newspaper for free.

I’m not talking about temporarily free delivery. You know, where they give you the first 12 weeks for free and then they start billing you. In that scenario, you eventually pay. I’m talking no-strings attached free! I’m talking newspapers piling up on your front lawn, a rainbow of plastic covered papers scattered about.

Are you ready for the secret? Here it is: Cancel your subscription.

I mean it. Cancel your subscription. Tell them you just don’t have time to read every day, what with your busy life and all. They won’t believe you. The bills will stop coming, but the delivery will continue. Call them back. Tell them they must have forgotten to relay the message to the delivery driver. Remind them - you don’t want the paper anymore. They still won’t believe you. They will think you don’t want to pay, but you still really want to read their newspaper.

As the papers continue to arrive, be sure to call again. Tell them you travel a lot and if papers pile up on the front lawn, it’s like a great big “I’m not home sign” for the less-than-honest folks in the world. They won’t care. Your newspapers will still arrive.

I stumbled onto a brilliant plan really. A brilliant plan if I actually wanted to get my newspapers for free. Which I don’t. I’d like to go green and read on-line. I’d like to avoid hauling a pile of papers out back for the recycling truck every week. I’d like stop collecting those little plastic sleeves the newspapers come in. The only thing those plastic sleeves are good for is picking up dog poop. Trust me, my dog is never going to poop enough to use up my ever growing supply.

As I inadvertently learned the secret to free newspaper delivery, I felt compelled to share. So go ahead, try it. Start your free subscription today. Be sure to let me know how it works out.