Economic Stimulus – Courtesy of Mother Nature

A recent Government Report out of Washington DC claims job market improvement may be slowing. Look out your window gentlemen. New jobs abound in the snow-ravaged mid-Atlantic!

Folks are still digging out from the storm of the century. Millions are being spent on snow removal. Anyone with a plow hitch, a back hoe or a shovel has new income opportunities.

BGE employees, past and present, are gainfully employed. Auto body shops are at full capacity. Bread, milk and toilet paper sales realized a significant jump (at least in snow-phobic Baltimore) as did salt, sand and cat litter.

As the great meltdown occurs, new job prospects arise. Plumbers, roofers and maintenance repair folks of all variety are hard at work on falling gutters, leaking roofs and flooded basements.

New employment opportunities will continue with pot hole repairs, sidewalk re-pointing and road resurfacing. Even arborists will have a full Spring calendar, trimming damaged trees and vegetation encroaching power lines.

As we brace for yet another run of the white stuff, don’t grumble. Remember, Mother Nature’s got her own economic stimulus plan.
It’s working its magic right here in Maryland.

Freedom of Speech

I love 3 year-olds and 90 year-olds. They each tell it like it is.

One’s youthful innocence provides fascinating uninhibited opinion on a variety of topics. “Aunt Mary, how come you have white hairs in your head?” The other, having the reached the I’m-too-old-to-care-what-people-think stage, can give new meaning to the words open communication. As in, “That dress does nothing for you.”

I’m stuck squarely in the middle of the bite-your-tongue-stage, strictly prohibiting me from statements like: “You’re not wearing that tie, are you?” Freedom of speech can be highly overrated, and sometimes, it can get you in a lot of hot water.

Last week, in Towson Maryland, Freedom of Speech, proved its usefulness. The Westboro Baptist Church rallied along York Road to protest Towson High School’s Gay-Straight Alliance club. The mature intellect of the Towson High student body outclassed them beyond compare. THS students, over 300 strong, launched a peaceful anti-protest which gave new meaning to the Bible verse “Love one another as I have loved thee.”

This group from Kansas, who call themselves Christians, never had a chance. Their attempts to stir up hatred fell flat. I beamed with pride at the fantastic youth in our community. Clearly they have learned tolerance, acceptance and patience. Such incredible leaders for tomorrow.

That Alice in Wonderland Feeling

Spring, for many, is a steady, comforting feeling, like the return of an old friend. Flowers and trees awaken from their winter slumber, emitting buds and blooms. Birds return from southern climates, happily chirping in our trees.

This year in Baltimore, the arrival of Spring conveys a different emotion: Confusion. March is typically heralded as the month that “comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.” We completed that directive last week alone. Monday, it snows. Schools close. Planned activities cancel. Flights delay. Tuesday, we dig out. Wednesday, the roads are safe again. Thursday, we yearn for Spring. Friday – poof – It’s here! Sunny skies, warm breezes, 73 degrees.

What does rest of the month have in store for us? Today, the forecast is snow flurries. Add in the time change this week for daylight savings time, Baltimore is just a mess. Where am I?
I feel like Alice in Wonderland.

The lesson for March is “expect the unexpected.” Seems like Mother Nature is in tune with the state of our economy.

Hope for a Monstrosity You Can Live With

Time has proven that change is generally good for us, whether that change is in our national government, in our cities or in our own backyards.

My neighbors in Towson, Maryland are up in arms over a proposed expansion of the sports arena at Towson University. The planned “monstrosity” (as a friend refers to it) looms over a nearby residential neighborhood, one where I use to live. The University President spoke at a gathering last night, reminding attendees that TU has been a good neighbor over the decades. He implied it was time for local residents to be a little more neighborly in return.

Someone really needs to have a little chat with that man. The old “you catch more bees with honey” speech might do him some good right about now.

That said, sports is big business. Our economy needs jobs and companies willing to invest in the future. Here, we have a strong local institution that is expanding rather than shrinking. Perhaps they should build this new grand arena, but who am I to say? It’s not in my back yard.

I don't think the real issue is about whether the arena expansion is a good idea. I think the real issue is about being heard. So often, people push their own agendas, rather than considering compromises that address valid concerns. In the end, I believe the greater good of economic stimulation will prevail. I just hope the neighbors end up with a monstrosity they can live with.

There’s a petition circulating to stop TU. I’ll probably sign it – in solidarity with my former neighbors. But I can’t help thinking about a story I heard last week.

A friend shared how an elderly relative, a native Baltimorean, was up in arms 25 years ago over a proposed new development in downtown Baltimore. She couldn’t understand why everyone wanted to renovate the Inner Harbor. She thought the proposed National Aquarium was a ridiculous notion. “If I want to see fish – I’ll go to Woolworths!” she said.

Save me from the Rain-maniacs!

First, we have people in Galviston, Texas who don’t evacuate when a 19 foot wave surge is predicted. Every station shows the eye of the storm heading directly toward them, still they remain. Not just a few people - 15,000 people don’t leave for higher ground.

Then, we have Baltimore - the weather woosey capital of the world! We were expecting rain Friday evening, actually a bit of a thunderstorm. Winds and heavy rain fall were predicted. Many folks left work early. Just in case. They cancelled all public school and rec league sports activities, for the entire weekend. Just in case. The police where on the roads in full force. Just in case.

Its RAIN people – drive slower, use your headlights and bring an umbrella. How hard is this?!

Thank goodness we don’t get many hurricanes here in Baltimore. If there was actually some real threat potential, we’d be evacuating every other week. And trust me, there would not be 15,000 people staying behind. They’d be flocking out of town like a Baltimore beehive.

Don't get me started on the snow – that’s a whoooole other thing when you live in Bawlmer, hon.

Actually, the next major storm – I’m having a party. Anyone who is not a rain-maniac is welcome. Bring an umbrella and a bottle of wine. We’ll hunker down and ride out the storm together.

Forget the Slots, I Have Another Plan

Today I watched the most pathetic attempt at parallel parking. It was painful really. Made me think – we should re-qualify people to parallel park, annually. Heck, drivers should be periodically required to prove they actually know how to drive a car.

Think about it. Many professions require completion of continuing education to guarantee proficiency over the years. Yet, we hand some teenager a driver’s license and they are good-to-go for life?!

Think about your elderly loved ones. All eventually reach a stage when they have no business being behind the wheel, but no one has the guts to tell them. Who dares to ask Grandpa to hand over the keys? Not I.

Think about the increase in state revenue, from the re-take fees alone! We don’t need slots in Maryland, just driver recertification. It’s a brilliant financial plan really. It would create jobs, generate revenue, increase safety on our roadways.

It’s something to think about . . . .

Mystery of the Disappearing Mailboxes

Someone please explain the mystery of the disappearing mailboxes. What brilliant bureaucrat decided a swift and stealthy removal was necessary?

In case you are reading this from afar, I live in Baltimore. Towson to be exact. Our local U.S. Post Office decided to remove some 30 blue steel mailboxes from perches in neighborhoods around town. They simply disappeared. Overnight. No warning. No discussions. No community meetings. Just gone.

Don’t get me wrong – I applaud their effort to reduce wasteful spending. Apparently many of these boxes were underutilized. I support attempts to conserve gasoline resources and reduce vehicle emissions. No more driving around town to empty these mailboxes twice a day. The decision for a covert removal is where my problem lies. Are we 3 years old? Do you have to hide the pacifier to wean us?

The brilliant bureaucrat who devised this plan was right in one respect. Residents were not going to like it. People were going to stomp their feet, whine a little, and perhaps cry. Hey buddy - you work for the Federal Government, is this something new? You couldn’t come up with a better plan than tip toe into the nursery and snatch the security blanket from the crib?

If you don’t want us to act like 3-year olds, don’t treat us like 3-year olds. We get it. We can do the math. We understand the economics of “reduce.” It would have been nice if someone had given us a little notice. Or (gasp) given us a voice in the decision-making process.

Next time, just put on your big boy panties please and treat us like adults.

Kneeling at the Feet of Susan Reimer

In an e-mail yesterday, a friend wrote – “after reading your blog, I think you should replace Susan Reimer in The Sun Paper. You could give her a run for her money!”

Can I just say – That’s my dream job!

Susan Reimer has been writing a humorous family life / baby boomer column in The Baltimore Sun for as long as I can remember. If you’re not familiar with her work – check it out: http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-columnist-reimer,0,7281984.columnist . She’s a hoot.

Now, I’m sure Susan works her baby boomer butt off, but I’d give anything to have her job! I know - I have not put in my time at crappy writing jobs. I have not worked my way through the muck, mire and egos of a newspaper. But, hey, there’s great value in a fresh voice who comes to the table without all that baggage. No preconceived notions. No unrealistic expectations. Simply the eager, young face (OK – not so young really) with a new perspective.

If you know anyone, who knows anyone, who knows Susan Reimer
(or her boss), can you give me a holler? I’d be happy to ghost write for her while she’s on vacation. I’d be happy to fill her column if she wanted to take a mental health day. I’d kneel at her feet and take her crumbs any day. And boy – if you get wind she’s retiring any time in the next decade, please, do share!

Because, really - that’s my dream job!

A taste of OC right here in Bawlmer, hon!

Thinking about goin’ down da ocean, hon? Cost of gas got you down? Dreading the crawl across the Bay Bridge? The perfect alternative is right here in Baltimore!

I happened across a delightful oasis on York Road, near the Towson/City line – it’s a Lee’s Ice Cream & Fractured Prune franchise! Here we have OC’s hot hand dipped donuts paired with the creamiest ice cream to be found. No need to spend hours in the car, just head on down York Road for your OC experience this weekend.

“But that’s just donuts and dessert,” you may say. Where is the relaxing sunrise? Where are the sounds of the crashing waves? Where are the seagulls for crying out loud!

I’m telling you, they are on York Road, near the Towson /City line. Take a seat on Lee’s outdoor patio and you’ll be instantly transformed. The morning sun, rising over the trees of Anneslie, warms your face. A cool breeze blows along the walkway from Cedarcroft. The traffic of York Road is far enough removed, yet sits just close enough, providing a muffled rush, like the crashing of waves. Minivans arrive in steady stream – emitting families with young children in shorts and flip flops. They enjoy a leisurely donut to start their day. Coffee, donut and sudoku in hand, I sat. Seagulls called from over head and a little brown finch visited the sidewalk for crumbs. It was like I was hanging on the boardwalk in OC.

“But there’s no Candy Kitchen, no T-shirt shops, no Secrets Night Club,” you may say. Have you been downtown lately? We have a boardwalk - a wonderful concrete promenade stretching from the Inner Harbor all the way to Fells Point.

Follow 83 South to the end. Then just park and walk. No tolls, no traffic, no cramped 3 hour drive in the car. You can stroll along the water for miles, on paths filled with shops, restaurants and entertainment. You’ll see motor boats, sail boats and paddle boats. They’ll just be in the Harbor rather than the Atlantic. If the Orioles are playing, you may even see a plane on the horizon trailing an advertising banner. Feel like OC yet?

“But there’s no beach, no place to fly a kite or kick back on a blanket,” you may say. Try Ft. McHenry or the Canton Waterfront Park. These offer a waterside view with plenty of room for lounging and kite flying. OK – there’s no sand to get in your bathing suit. You’ve got me there, but is that really a problem?

Memorial Day weekend kicked off OC season in Maryland. Many flooded Route 50 braving traffic and crowds, but I stayed in Baltimore. Each morning, I strolled down York Road for an OC Sands donut. I puttered through my days - strolling along the water, shopping, reading a trashy novel. I used the money I saved on gas and tolls for crabs and beer. And at the end of each day, I wandered down York Road for a double scoop of Lee’s homemade Mint Chocolate ice cream.

Who needs the crowds, we’ve got a taste of OC right here in Bawlmer, hon!