“Mom, I’m on my way to the hospital. My lung collapsed again.”
I thought it was a bad April Fool’s Day joke. Alas, it was no prank.
Not to worry. The lung quickly re-inflated. TJ is home. He is fine.
The kids and I are well-versed with this Emergency Room gig. Between the four of us, we hit double-digit visits quite some time ago. The next ER visit, I expect confetti and balloons to fall as we enter, marking Emergency Room Record Holder standing in the community.
Being an old pro in the ER, I thought I’d share some secrets:
Say the words “chest pain” to the triage nurse, gets you right in.
Don’t say “broken toe.” This translates to “last in line.”
Don’t touch anything. The place is full of germs.
Hand sanitizing gel stations are everywhere. Find one.
Name drop your doctor. Pediatrician, dermatologist, any name will do.
If your doctor has privileges at the hospital, you get more attention.
Ask about the TV remote. You could be there a while.
Trust me, there’s always a better channel than the one the nurse tuned in.
Bring a snack – for patient, parent or spouse.
You won’t be offered any food, even if you've been there for 6 hours.
If they say "she's being admitted," settle in with a good book.
This is a hospital, not a hotel. It can take 4 hours to
“turn a room.”
Be nice to the nurses. They stick you with the needles.
“Do unto others” is an important sentiment to cultivate,
especially in the ER.
These are a few of my Emergency Room survival tips. I’d love to hear yours. I’m sure I'll be back again soon to try them out.
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2 comments:
Don't pass out from the site of your sibling's blood. They will be forced to admit you too. At least my two got to share a room. If only I didn't have to pay for both of them to see the doctor!
Denise, All true (and funny)! My Dad and I are also ER semi-pros. If your injury involved bleeding, whatever you do DON'T wipe off the blood. The more blood the better! Jady
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